i’ve been getting the feeling that i’ve recently been trying a different way to “drown” my troubles, so to speak, this time in like…trying to acquire things that I think i want. obviousl i already know this won’t help, but i feel like now, when i can’t be messing myself up in school, and i don’t have the release of playing badminton easily at hand, i’m trying to find something else to do to keep my mind busy and myself occupied.
i guess thus far, staying busy has actually been pretty easy, since pretty much every day since break started has been very busy. i guess…that’s a very good thing.
i just don’t exactly know why right now i so keenly feel like…part sad, part i don’t know. after seeing that friend’s entry, i don’t know. i guess the fact that i’m affected to more of a degree than i KNOW i should means that i haven’t quite gotten over everything. and i guess it’s kinda telling when i wake up and the only thing i remember from whatever dreams i had, is frantically trying to get get to the gmail tab in my internet browser b/c it was flashing a message from pcttsai. i don’t remember reaching that tab in the dream, but i just remember the struggle to get there, though.
why. can’t i just…damn.