well, it’s 8:30am and I’m awake this time after having gotten sleep. Some sleep, anyway.

it wasn’t so hard to get up today to my alarm at 8.  Maybe has to do with slightly anticipation of doing some stuff today. Basically some Lion Dance performance at a nearby hotel in Edison, I think. I wasn’t so eager a day or so earlier but at this point I kind of need to do something, preferably involving physical activity, to take my mind off things.

having a bit of time before my ride arrives, I naturally do a few things online, including check fb. turns out someone’s online, but not for long–online status change. …coincidence? with the way things’ve been, prob not.

so i click on the little “x” on that tab, figuring i don’t need to have it on my mind. …not like i need any other reminders.

—-

just got off the phone w/meagan, apparently mr. loo’s coming to pick me up now since sifu’s running late. yeah. gonna change and get ready.

sighhhh. dayammmn. not feeling the “shine” right now.

12:45pm.

Just back from the performance. It went ok, like any BCSLDT (plus some kids from Livingston CS) non-rehearsed show. Felt some familiar soreness in my arms. Managed to escape reality for a short short while, til after the performance.

Life…really does work in funny ways. So earlier, I walked past the campus center to the parking lot by the side of the dining hall to get picked up, and as we were driving off, I look to the front of the campus center at a bus pulling up and see several familiar faces walking out of the campus center. What are the chances of that? Granted, I knew that they were going to see the “Bodies” exhibit today, but I didn’t know the time or anything. So it was a surprise.

Makes me feel a bit like all that’s  happening now, over these last few days, is something that I”m supposed to learn something from. I don’t know what, though. When good things happen, I enjoy it, and wonder if there’s something to be learned. I think it’s doubly true when bad things happen, because I think the lessons best remembered are the ones that bring up the strongest feelings (either good or bad).

Every time my thoughts drift I try to snap them away from the realm of uncertainties and into…well, anywhere else. But I can’t help wondering just a bit, as to the aftereffects. The “whys” bother me so much, though a friend did say that I didn’t know things for certain. True. But I do know something is wrong.

As a side note, since when are males supposed to worry so much about these things? or care. what happened to those stereotypes. prob just me and a few other strange ones.

So many hours left in the day.

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