random updates

4am on a Monday night (Tues morning)…not my ideal sleep time.

So a few random updates:
-Choreo for Josh’s piece is faster than anything we’ve yet done…it’s gonna be pretty good haha.  Verse|One’s got at least 1 or 2 performances in March and something like 6 in April!
-RCC Karaoke competition was pretty cool
-Sundays are definitely busier than most days of the normal week
-Mondays are still packed and might get busier…see below
-checked out meeting of Asian American Leadership Cabinet on LIV, have to do some consideration

almost ended up face-first in mud tonight…walking back to Richardson from SERC, decided to walk up hill because the sidewalk path has been closed for construction, and though I tried to be careful, my foot slipped right out from under me as I walked, and I again have to thank all that lion dance/judo/martial arts/acrobatic/whatever practice, since I caught myself with my left hand and then slipped and twisted down the hill, managing to land upright…interesting.  My left hand was caked in mud and after I got into the apartment I noticed streaks on my pants and jacket, plus a large amount on the back of my UnderArmour bag…which is now drying on a rack.  haha I have a newfound appreciation for the powers of mud.

and, ~70 pgviews–where’d that come from?

as usual, writing more would be nice but I’m going to finish reaction paper and go to sleep straightaway…looks like this week is going to be fairly busy.

Advertisements

right before first midterm

so I didn’t quite leave V|1 practice early like I’d kinda planned, but, we were learning and reviewing so well hahaha. this set is going to be sweet.

1:40am…just finished CompSci hw assignment, luckily was pretty easy haha.  now for the harder part: study for the next few hours for an exam at 11:30am.

Have “some” reading to catch up on so I guess we’ll see how this goes…haha I can’t let it go any way but good though.

…if all goes well I’ll catch up on sleep after badminton, or after some dancing after badminton.

here we gooo hahaha.

[edit]

so, that all-nighter didn’t work out entirely as planned, finally gave in to a nap at around 7 or 8am, and ended up dozing in and out until finally i woke up disoriented and immediately dove to check the time…saw it was 11:10, exam in 20min on different campus haha. definitely got a burst of adrenaline from that, so i tossed on a jacket and ran out to the bus stop, got to exam in time, it was okay for the most part…we’ll see how it went haha.

at library now, feeling a bit tired, finally. guess we’ll see how the rest of this day goes.

pre-bedtime musing

Friend, I too feel a measure of dissatisfaction–not the same kind you and I had been talking about a few days earlier, but the same kind of feeling nonetheless.  It doesn’t stem from this recent roommate/buddy foolishness, but in some way resulted from that and a few other things.

I returned from dance practice two hours or so ago feeling drained.  The short talk with the roommate accomplished almost nothing and didn’t help.  Attempting to help a neighbor with Chinese wasn’t very productive.  I decided to make some hot chocolate and read a bit and got as far as making the hot chocolate and picking up “Happiness Hypothesis” (HH) when I realized that reading wasn’t going to work in my current mood.  So I ended up making more Costco microwavable “chow mien” and plugging in laptop again to do some writing/thinking, which brings me to here.

It seems that my blog writing, here or in Xanga, have actually been a greater help than I’ve realized when it came to overcoming certain times of stress.  According to HH’s chapters on adversity and its effects, regular writing about people’s problems proved to be a great help in the subsequent months, because the writing helped those people to sort out their thoughts on whatever issues had been plaguing them. I found those chapters very interesting because I think I can relate…putting issues out in words and being forced to sort them out a day at a time eventually did cause me to form a coherent history of what happened, and as HH says, the benefit comes in ultimately making sense of the previously tangled.

Recent insights from HH advise that in situations where the environment is causing stress, my options include: changing the situation; changing my views (adapt); or switching environments. For the time being I’m just going to maximize time away from the room(mate) and maximize time doing things.

Actually, I just re-read an article from a bit ago that I’d saved onto my computer, about Randy Pausch, the late Carnegie Mellon professor famous for his “Last Lecture”…I had started reading it earlier today (in class…to help me stay awake), and having just finished it, I actually feel a bit better in a hard to describe way. It could be that compared to the things he did for his children, preparing for his death and preparing so that there would be something of him and the lessons he would’ve taught for his young children, that my own dissatisfaction about working on my mindset just pales in comparison and really doesn’t feel like an issue anymore.

Hmm. I’m finally beginning to feel a bit sleepy, but the 3+ cups of hot chocolate I had are urging me to stay awake a bit longer to let it digest…or something.

More thoughts await a coherent entry much better than this one, so I’ll be back soon. For now, good night.

disgust

i’m not sure if being disgusted drains me emotionally…?

left dance practice today drained, not physically but in some other way. distractions all throughout practice today that were dumb, unnecessary. negative emotions towards other people haha…i can hardly bring myself to sympathize. we’re here to dance. how you can get mad at any of the dancers to not “paying attention” if you guys (1) aren’t setting the example, and (2) are getting distracted yourselves? what a waste of time. we should be using that time to practice. no problem with some fun, but such distractions? stupid.

then walking in on roommate earlier, looks like there was a door-lock problem, they locked the door but it failed to close properly or something because i was just able to walk in. i just talked with a him a bit, but i suppose i see the difficulty because he can’t always warn me ahead of time.

still, at some points it gets annoying. i can choose to not be so irritated at certain parts of this but…i dunno. i just feel disgusted at the stupidity of some things.

early class tomorrow. going to help a friend w/chinese for a short bit and i need to sleep earlier.

not a fan.

funny how that works

been an interesting day as usual. tired through most of it but i’ve been reading more of “happiness hypothesis” and it’s really good. some entries are brewing in my mind and perhaps i’ll have a chance to give them form later tonight.

so coming back from class today, walk into my dark room and there’s a potentially awkward moment as my roommate (he reacted quickly, i’ll give him credit for that) pulls a blanket to cover his buddy in bed.

i was amused to find that i was more amused than upset, right there and a few minutes after the fact. so i tossed my jacket on my bed and said “so we need to have a talk soon”, and went back to the living room to do stuff. i’d like to think that this calmness is a result of a more serene me…but it’s more likely a combination of a few things haha. i like how i’m actually feeling upbeat hahaha.

i thought it was interesting that i wasn’t even so exasperated or anything…just amused. and the incident re-prompts me to have a needed talk. so it’s going to happen later tonight.

after another monday

looks like 7 1/2 hrs of sleep worked to get me almost completely through the 4 monday classes…dozed off a bit in the second class but i’m pretty pleased for the most part.

felt kind of inspired the whole day…not sure why, some mix of reading “happiness hypothesis”, getting some work done. from an email today, seems like i’m off academic probation, which is i suppose good haha. i intend to do well this semester…a goal that is completely attainable if i do more catching-up in terms of reading.

whoo well it’s around 1:15am, have stuff to do tomorrow, and i’m trying to test out getting 6 hours of sleep to see if that’ll be more refreshing than 7 or so.

till later.

CNY dumpling-making

so yesterday, i noticed that i was invited over to Silvers (those familiar apartments on the other side of Busch) for an impromptu Chinese New Year dumpling-making session.

basically, it was really fun haha, people slowly trickled in while we did stuff like filling the dumplings and helping Victor cook. food-wise, our dumplings, pork and vegetarian, were steamed and fried; there was also tilapia, various vegetables, and on the whole…good stuff. i was definitely impressed at Victor’s cooking skills…very impressed.

so i need to stay awake through the majority of classes tomorrow, and for that to happen, i’m going to sleep very soon, just wanted to jot down a few happenings.

this weekend has been a bit iffy sleep-wise, but at least i feel semi-justified about yesterday. napping, waking at 2am, then writing til 8 was maybe a mistake, but i wanted to finish that entry. i’m fairly satisfied with it…i think it’s one of those few entries that represents a current me very well.

gotta sleep. much to do and i need to be awake, especially for exams. studying to be done, and i need to do it.

in the end, it was a pretty good Chinese New Year 🙂

cheers.

You Are

Dedicated to dreamers, realists
To no one in particular, and to everyone
To those who appreciate the little things
And to anyone who believes in living life

You are beautiful.
Running under open skies, basking in the sun
Dancing in the light of the moon, sleeping beneath showers of stars

You are beautiful.
I like your quiet grins, your big smiles, your amused giggles and your unrestrained laughter. Like you, I’d rather laugh and smile than cry and frown.

You are beautiful.
I love the way your passion for life shows itself in all that you do. Your enthusiasm is contagious and inspires the world around you and I hope that never changes.

You are beautiful.
I envy your work ethic, how easily you begin any project and how you finish what you start. Your focus is a gift that will take you far.

You are beautiful.
I believe you should always hold your head high, confident in your own worth and expecting the best from those around you. Be the change you want to see.

You are beautiful.
I understand your fears and insecurities and I know you can overcome them when you try. We’re here for you–you never have to face them alone.

You are beautiful.
I hope you realize that love really doesn’t hurt–loneliness, loss and disappointment hurt, but love reinvigorates and rekindles your spirit. Learn, live and love again.

You are beautiful.
I don’t for a second believe that what you want is beyond you, because I know you are stronger and smarter and more capable than you give yourself credit for. It’s up to you to decide that you are worth your own time.

Why…does it matter?
Will our paths cross again?
When is the right time?
Where can we find what we seek?
How do we know what questions to ask?
What if?
…who cares?

Life, even lived as it is in moments, can feel overwhelming, and all we can do sometimes is to take it one step at a time. Obstacles might loom over the horizon, but I say let them come, because we can and will climb them–every obstacle is an opportunity for us to improve if we so choose. Let the obstacles come. We won’t shy away, because we know that our fears–insidious and resilient as they might be–can be confronted, understood and then conquered. Let the obstacles come, because the greatest gains in life are worth the effort. When we master ourselves, all else easily falls into place. We do have the power to change ourselves, and when we do so we can change the world.

Thank you for your patience, your tolerance; your energy, your enthusiasm; your encouragement, your exasperation; your seriousness, your silliness; your advice, your appreciation; your confidence, your care. The least I can do is to pass the favor onto others, because I believe lives can be changed with a small vote of confidence.

Give yourself the credit you deserve. And if you don’t think you deserve much, think again, because you do yourself an injustice. Your worth is immeasurable. Purely negative opinions from yourself and others deserve no place in your thoughts. You are beautiful, and you should be secure. You love, and are loved in return. You can and will do exactly what you set out to do.

You are.

You Are

Dedicated to dreamers, realists
To no one in particular, and to everyone
To those who appreciate the little things
And to anyone who believes in living life

You are beautiful.
Running under open skies, basking in the sun
Dancing in the light of the moon, sleeping beneath showers of stars

You are beautiful.
I like your quiet grins, your big smiles, your amused giggles and your unrestrained laughter. Like you, I’d rather smile and laugh than frown or cry.

You are beautiful.
I love the way your passion for life shows itself in all that you do. Your enthusiasm is contagious and inspires the world around you and I hope that never changes.

You are beautiful.
I envy your work ethic, how easily you begin any project and how you finish what you start. Your focus is a gift that will take you far.

You are beautiful.
I believe you should always hold your head high, confident in your own worth and expecting the best from those around you. Be the change you want to see.

You are beautiful.
I understand your fears and insecurities and I know you can overcome them when you try. We’re here for you–you never have to face them alone.

You are beautiful.
I hope you realize that love really doesn’t hurt–loneliness, loss and disappointment hurt, but love reinvigorates and rekindles your spirit. Learn, live and love again.

You are beautiful.
I don’t for a second believe that what you want is beyond you, because I know you are stronger and smarter and more capable than you give yourself credit for. It’s up to you to decide that you are worth your own time.

Why…does it matter?
Will our paths cross again?
When is the right time?
Where can we find what we seek?
How do we know what questions to ask?
What if?
…who cares?

Life, even lived as it is in moments, can feel overwhelming, and all we can do sometimes is to take it one step at a time. Obstacles might loom over the horizon, but I say let them come, because we can and will climb them–every obstacle is an opportunity for us to improve if we so choose. Let the obstacles come. We won’t shy away, because we know that our fears–insidious and resilient as they might be–can be confronted, understood and then conquered. Let the obstacles come, because the greatest gains in life are worth the effort. When we master ourselves, all else easily falls into place. We do have the power to change ourselves, and when we do so we can change the world.

Thank you for your patience, your tolerance; your energy, your enthusiasm; your encouragement, your exasperation; your seriousness, your silliness; your advice, your appreciation; your confidence, your care. The least I can do is to pass the favor onto others, because I believe lives can be changed with a small vote of confidence.

Give yourself the credit you deserve. And if you don’t think you deserve much, think again, because you do yourself an injustice. Your worth is immeasurable. Purely negative opinions from yourself and others deserve no place in your thoughts. You are beautiful, and you should be secure. You love, and are loved in return. You can and will do exactly what you set out to do.

You are.

inspired by the Facebook event “Tell Her She’s Beautiful“.

and Happy Chinese New Year & Valentine’s Day.

living, laughing, learning…one step at a time.  ^^