Aging

I think I realize what might age me faster than the years. The culprit is worry–more specifically, worrying for those I care about.

I wonder what I should do about that worrying.

verse one to wildwood

12 of us are meeting up tomorrow morning at Mark’s and then heading to Wildwood for two days and a night.

This should be interesting haha, trying to see if we can all squeeze into the one room we booked at less than stellar motel place.

self self self

“in the end, all education is self-education.”

what bugs me about that is how it so easily explains that if we’re not where we want to be in terms of education, it’s up to us to do something instead of waiting around.

as in most cases, this brings the responsibility squarely back to the individual, where I, at least, think it usually belongs.

summer classes: done for now :/ can only go forward from here.

that darn procrastination

barrrgh. about 12hrs until the paper is due.

i’m trying to roughly sketch out the remaining time: ┬áminimal meal at some point (i’m not hungry at all, still fairly full from the tofu and rice from a few hours earlier), possible shower, a few short study breaks, lots of time to read and write and work work work, and maybe a nap (which would be nice but maybe not a great idea).

feeling a bit tired but still ok for now. i’m hoping that will last for another two hours or so, then i can shower i think, which ideally will help me stay up a bit longer.

cannot wait til this is done haha, i don’t even know what i’m going to do but it’ll be nice.

edit: 1 hour remaining and still much to be done!

grrr doesn’t help that now after a shower and whatnot i’m awake. prob adrenaline too haha.

on the home stretch now, go go go!

pitter-patter in my head

pitter-patter on the steps
pitter-patter on the steps, 10/11/07

i’m tired enough that i could doze off while in a not too comfortable chair, with one knee up. I’ve been listening to the sound of rain in a storm to counter the not entirely quiet living room. Better rain than classical music because rain is just rain, no changing beats or significant volume or beat shifts.

the pitter-pattering of rain in my head is always pleasant enough to fall asleep to. good thing we have a roof over our heads, then.

i’m running low on tolerance…lack of sleep and weird hours make my body feel off, itchy, which contributes to me feeling much more irritable than usual. not a fan. it’s also taken me way too long to get really started on work. ridiculous.

Just 16 more hours until the deadline. Still a bunch more reading to be done before i can really write. *exhales*

breathe in, breath out. AWAYYYY!!!!!

how the foot feels the foot

I suddenly realized another layer to the proverb “The foot feels the foot when it touches the ground” (Buddha).

I was thinking of what we learn from loving another that people by themselves could not learn, and the answer is in the experience. The answer is in the difference between just knowledge and knowledge gained through experience.

The complementary parts that make up how we sense the world are so interesting and make me grin. There’s so much to be learned and experienced.