Not everybody truly lives

Reflecting on recent conversations with close friends, I suddenly felt like Santiago in Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist.

What is it that I feel called — called away? — to experience?
What am I trying to prove to myself? What must I know?

Why does it feel so important to chase the edge?

What does it mean to lean into fear? And why does it matter so much?

Why do I feel I have to brave pain to grow? Fear and pain and discomfort in the face of uncertainty, at the brink of change.

What does my heart know that my brain is working to articulate? How do I put it into words — or better yet, into emotion+feeling that can be conveyed to those who matter?

What do I fear?

Why is what I have not enough?

All I know is that this tension is the good kind, the tough but ultimately necessary conflict that our heroes must face each and every time they reach the limits of their achievable possibilities.

Stretch, love. Stretch and let the shards of our former world crumble forgotten around us as we rise to the heights we were born to explore, until we touch that brittle sky and break through anew.

If I am what I share

If I am what I share

I’m growth. I’m connection, warmth and love. I’m higher standards, focus, organization, strategy, adventure, good feelings, permission, independence, initiative, confidence.

Relaxation, because I’ve drawn my lines in the sand.
Community, because people fly higher when they feel like they belong.

I’m responsibility for my actions and the world around me.
I’m balance, except when it comes to the most important things in life.

Abundance over scarcity.
Curiosity over ignorance.
Education over schooling.
Discomfort over stagnation.

Inspiration, ambition, decision.

Deep appreciation for our brief, limited time and for the beauty visible everywhere.
Value: which we all have but don’t all realize, which is ours to own and ours to grow, and which is ours to share if we wish.

The decisions to care and make a difference.

This year

“I hope this this year doesn’t turn you into an asshole.” –N

My internal dialogue:
A: Probably won’t, but no worthwhile endeavor is risk-free.
B: So what if it does? F@(k ’em; how else can you truly practice not giving a damn?
C: Whatever happens, it’s gonna be AWESOME>